“messaging someone and saying "I see you watching my Instagram stories but haven't responded to my texts since Wednesday , freak behavior if you ask me"”

“planes only work because we all believe they do. if we stop believing we can make them fall out of the sky”

“softblocking rude fuckers on here... im not reddit”

“@NeoYokel WHY?”

“*grandchildren looking through my Google search history like it’s a diary* Addewrall heart attack Coffee heart attack Alcohol heart attack French fries and burger immediate heart attack *tearfully* he… he was a genius”

“Slowly evolving into something vaguely resembling a layout but I haven't really sat down and thought about the UI all too much. I guess from here, there'd be another screen for looking at highlights themselves or maybe just inline here is fine?”

“stuart little fixated upon the advent of his doom”

“Slowly evolving into something vaguely resembling a layout but I haven't really sat down and thought about the UI all too much. I guess from here, there'd be another screen for looking at highlights themselves or maybe just inline here is fine?”

“i run a mission driven company and i aim to continue on with that mission the best way i know how: by debuting on the nasdaq and letting outsiders with big bags of cash sit on the board of my business so they can steer this ship off the nearest cliff”

“stuart little fixated upon the advent of his doom”

“@NeoYokel wait five years”

“America will never end the pandemic. You can all stop arguing now. Pro mask, anti mask. Nobody cares. We live in 50 little countries where the borders are completely porous the entire time. Nothing matters and no one is listening. Take care!”

“beach day w bae @char_latte1996”

“love that my little cousin only ever wants to wear his underpants and glasses. hes 5 and he should live how he wants to”

“Can't wait to try this.”

“beach day w bae @char_latte1996”

“https://t.co/x1WoqngFKQ”

“screenplay writers wish they could think of shit like this”

“https://t.co/x1WoqngFKQ”

“I think every twitter war is basically between people whose bios say "things about their vibe" vs people whose bios say "things about what they do"”

“screenplay writers wish they could think of shit like this”

“My Amazon package came but it was already opened from the bottom. It’s pretty clear that the thief changed their mind once they saw what it was.”