“These fuckers are nabbing my bit”

“In 18th century English, CUDDLING-IN-THE-BUTTERY was false affection, intended only to achieve something for yourself.”

“https://t.co/TPK2de8DwM”

“so apparently when i was taken to work drunk this weekend on my off day i interrupted the end of night meeting to give a speech about how ryan is my best friend 🙃😂”

“Is there a name for this shit¹————¹ Discord.”

“This picture from the olympic games is so crazy i swear we live in a utopian heavenworld”

“WHY THERE ARE NO VP SEO.”

“@NeoYokel I blocked him first 💯”

“she do hypnosis on my mic”

“"Apple's most powerful epic MAXX M1 Mac hit its lowest price EVER in RECORDED HISTORY" - some website Price: $1999”

“https://t.co/UyyDyffJcH”

“Weird how there’s such a big line in CVS right now”

“Idk I just didn’t expect a 10 person line to get meds on a Monday at 1pm”

“You cannot block me. I will block you first, preventing you from blocking me.”

“ladies and gentlethems,”

“brother and i were talking about how much we hate current star wars and i tried so hard to explain chuck wendig to him and could not do it (my brother does not use any social media and periodically wanders into the wilderness for days and sleeps under bridges to purify himself)”

“While Abarth has gone from strength to strength since its 2007 revival, mostly selling hotter versions of the Fiat 500, its Punto-based hot hatch soon became rather a forgotten footnote. The 163bhp Abarth Punto Evo features in this 2010 brochure. #carbrochure #Abarth”

“TODAY IN JEFF CITY: - SAPA is in the MO Supreme Court - House Budget Committee set to vote on state workers' pay raise (increasing it to $15/hr) - U.S. Ag @SecVilsack to discuss climate change at Lincoln Univ. - Senate to debate the congressional map #moleg #HappyMonday”

“What Metroid heaven looks like: Original Metroid Prime for GameCube, upscaled to 1440p, with a widescreen hack for 16:9 aspect ratio, plus a custom HD texture pack. Emulation is incredible and this game still rocks.”

“please don’t cry you have swag”

“LMFAO THANKS @TrumpDreamsBot”

“@NeoYokel @TrumpDreamsBot leave me aloneeeeee i am comfortable”

“I found the most humble company https://t.co/PqsPdQn75S”

“There is a crab in Pokémon Legends: Arceus (2022, Switch)”

“I kind of want "POSTING THROUGH IT" on my gravestone.”

“Composting through it.”

“father may I be yeeted from the newsletter”

“I've entered the "jackie chan was hot?" portion of my life. that's cool.”