“Job opening with Microsoft: #Accessibility Innovation Strategist https://t.co/CeV8Z2ZXv5”

“Your order from GAPE ADDICTS FISTING DUNGEON//HOLEBOYZ STRETCH CLUB SEXUAL PLEASURE-ITEMS shows up in discrete, anonymous packaging (usps flat rate box we wrote "NOT GAY" all over in sharpie)”

“waiting for the day i accidentally leave my mic open while working and my coworker(s) hear me mumbling playboi carti lyrics in a super high pitched voice”

“@NeoYokel Yo I loved death of a bachelor when are they coming out with another album”

“@NeoYokel I skimmed the text and interpreted it as Brendon Urie of Panic at the Disco. Panic Urie”

“I follow this rule religiously”

“yeah, i’m the shit. 🤙🏾🤪”

“yes lord .”

“help! Help! Help me. Help me”

“Dream whip spotting”

“Hitler could you please pass the mashed potatoes”

“Someone Crammed A 303 HP LS4 V8 Into The Back Of A Geo Metro https://t.co/r0rX3DmlL0”

“The ONLY reason the dude made the save is because the software is so bad the driver knows it needs to be babysat at all times. Once it gets *a little bit* better, the complacency will take over, and we will see pedestrian injuries, crashes and stuff.”

“Pull to refresh in Safari is one of those ideas that doesn’t work well in practice. I’m often losing entered data because I accidentally scroll or zoom out too far. (FB9687325)”

“Pull to refresh is OK there’s a timeline with new posts on the top (as it was designed in Tweetie) and it 100% doesn‘t disrupt any state, but reloading a webpage is highly disruptive and there often nothing special about the top.”

“@BozoMode Let’s get [ REDACTED ]”

“@NeoYokel Yeah, in the most passive-aggressive Apple tone possible”

“"yeah, i'm an adult" buys two domain names and filed to start a company at 5am”

“@NeoYokel don’t steal my thing ! that’s my thing !”

“mainly for code signing bullshit because getting a DUNS number seems to really want a company to exist and for some software i'm distributing, it's nice to have something semi-professional to point at”

“@NeoYokel i don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

“straight up this serious shits got to go, we goofy 24/7 from now on, only funny business”

“@NeoYokel That’s awesome, I’m glad you like it!”

“Lol https://t.co/HeyYchimgW Maybe work on making content blockers that don't suck and don't require a $99/year payment to distribute?”

“@NeoYokel Hi, we don't currently have a BAA for HIPAA compliance, but this is something we are looking into for future. Thank you!”

“Congrats to team @flexibits on the Fantastical 3.6 release. It’s a doozy. https://t.co/v6Ca5URuUX”

“Fantastical’s new update focuses on making scheduling easier https://t.co/NMjv8UN3FM”